Wednesday, April 18, 2007

The 5 B's to Unleash Your Creativity

Welcome once again to my foolproof-tried-and-tested series of inspirational stuff that aim to make you feel sorry for yourself because I have the intellect to come up with this crap and you don't.

Anyway, I'm here to present to you my 5 B's to unleash your creativity. Now why the hell would you want to do that. Well for one, you're bored with your life and want to do something different (you reading my blog is a testament to that). Plus, creativity makes you look cool to other people, even if you don't have the slightest idea of what you're doing. So without further ado, let's get on with it..

(Disclaimer: I do these stuff for myself, there's no assurance it will work for you. However for a slice of pizza I can make it work for you, whatever it takes)

My 5 B's To Unleash Your Creativity

  • Break the habit
If you've been doing the same routine all day all night, don't expect an idea to hit you just like that. C'mon you've been brushing your teeth, taking a bath, eating lunch all your life. Maybe it's about time you do something different. Don't brush your teeth, don't take a bath, and stop eating. It'll do you wonders, and a torrent of ideas will come crashing at you as you struggle to find creative ways to survive.

  • Bore yourself to death
People find it pathetic when they see someone staring at a blank wall or looking up at the ceiling. These people do not realize that they are deliberately doing this to themselves because they're after the ultimate high, of getting bored. Once you reach boredom nirvana, you will suddenly snap out of it, empty and void. Creativity sets in when you scramble to fill this void. By then, you'd have enough boredom in your blood to do something creative, no matter how pathetic it is.

  • Bright people suck
Don't you hate it when you're hanging out with bright people who are "better" than you. They'll shoot down every idea you'll put on the table because they know it won't work. If you, like most people, aren't cut out for an intellectual battle with such people, I'd suggest you just nod your head and walk away. The cornerstone of being creative is first being "stupid". Brandon Boyd (Incubus frontman) said it himself in one of their songs "A Crow Left of The Murder"

Unlearn me.
Ditch what I read
Behind what I heard.

He's telling us to "unlearn" damnit! The less you know, the more ideas you'll have in your arsenal. We all know how creative Brandon Boyd is. And I won't even have to explain why girls are flockin' to him like flies to sh*t. So I say again, bright people suck. They don't know sh*t and you know that in your heart. Creativity favors the heart, not the mind.

  • Buy stuff you don't need
Go buy that expensive cellphone with 3G, 10Gig MP3 player, 10MP camera, Bluetooth, wifi, drag-and-expand touchscreen, organizer, alarm clock, TV remote, can opener, mother-volume-control that you've always wanted. You'd be so overwhelmed with stuff you don't need that you'll be scrambling to find ways on how you can use them. I bought a bass guitar from a friend for $300 (or was it $150 i forgot already, anything beyond $5 is categorized as expensive anyway). I didn't need it, it's been gathering dust in the corner of my room. I'm thinking of dismantling the strings and turning them into trip wires that will sound off an alarm with lights when someone tries to get into my room. I'm so creative.

  • Be motivated
Fine I ran out of B's, so what. BE motivated. Of course there's no point being creative if you don't have your inspiration/motivation. Er so how do you get motivated? I don't know, you have to figure out that for yourself hahahaha! Just kidding. Er can we reserve that topic for next time? All I can say now is I'm always motivated by PIZZA. And I'm hungry. :O

Thus ends my 5 B's to unleashing creativity, rounding them all up..

- break the habit
- bore yourself to death
- bright people suck
- buy stuff you don't need
- be motivated

I hope that I have touched your lives with my inspirational-stuff-designed-to-make-you-feel-sorry-for-yourself-because-you
-can't-possibly-come-up-with-this-sort-of-crap. As always I look for comments and suggestions from my avid readers which I will gladly ignore but read all the same.

Let's be creative! Prosper and multiply!


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